I've been redeemed!

[Inor]

I have always wanted to learn to make bread. When the 'rona hit 4 years ago, I (along with everybody else on the planet) decided to finally give it a shot and make honey wheat bread. The bread came out pretty good as I recall, but there was a side-effect that I had not planned on. I made kind of a mess and Mrs Inor banished me from her kitchen. Well okay, it was maybe a little more than "a mess"; I turned the whole kitchen into a complete disaster area.

Regardless, my "kitchen privileges" have been sorely curtailed the last 4 years. I was allowed to continue to make toast and cut cheese and sausage and cook frozen pizzas. She also allows me to make homemade sausage, but I have to be under her close supervision.

So, I was more than a little surprised when I opened one of my Christmas presents from her this year and found that she gave me a bread machine!

34429

This baby is pretty sweet! All you have to do is put all the stuff for the bread into a bucket, put the bucket in the machine, press a few buttons and "boom"! Three hours later a bread comes out!

34430

I just made a plain old white bread today, but it was pretty dang good! Next up, I'm going to figure out what chemicals I need and try making Wonder Bread at home!

But more importantly, I'm taking this whole development in total as more significant than just being able to make bread. I'm taking this to mean that my kitchen privileges have been restored and I plan to act accordingly! WOO HOO!!!

[red442joe]

Yay you!!!
Now, go make her a sammich.

Joe

[StratBastard]

I have always wanted to learn to make bread. When the 'rona hit 4 years ago, I (along with everybody else on the planet) decided to finally give it a shot and make honey wheat bread. The bread came out pretty good as I recall, but there was a side-effect that I had not planned on. I made kind of a mess and Mrs Inor banished me from her kitchen. Well okay, it was maybe a little more than "a mess"; I turned the whole kitchen into a complete disaster area.

Regardless, my "kitchen privileges" have been sorely curtailed the last 4 years. I was allowed to continue to make toast and cut cheese and sausage and cook frozen pizzas. She also allows me to make homemade sausage, but I have to be under her close supervision.

So, I was more than a little surprised when I opened one of my Christmas presents from her this year and found that she gave me a bread machine!

34429

This baby is pretty sweet! All you have to do is put all the stuff for the bread into a bucket, put the bucket in the machine, press a few buttons and "boom"! Three hours later a bread comes out!

34430

I just made a plain old white bread today, but it was pretty dang good! Next up, I'm going to figure out what chemicals I need and try making Wonder Bread at home!

But more importantly, I'm taking this whole development in total as more significant than just being able to make bread. I'm taking this to mean that my kitchen privileges have been restored and I plan to act accordingly! WOO HOO!!!

Dammit, I need to do this. I have all the stuff I need in my preps to make low-carb bread (almond flour for instance) but have never MADE any. Ditto tortillas. I should develop those skills a bit. I've been telling myself one of the blue hairs in my little community would probably come over and do it in exchange for half the loot LOL, not really a plan but more a lack of one.

[stevekozak]

I have, more or less, been following Slippy's carnivore diet for almost a month now, but that bread looks pretty tasty!

[1skrewsloose]

I got a bread machine hand me down from my daughter. I just use it to make the dough, then put the dough in a standard bread pan and bake in the oven. Amazing that you buy store bought bread that will last weeks, real bread, no chemicals, goes bad fairly quick. The crap we've been putting in our bodies.

[Prepared One]

I was banned from using the washer and dryer once, but then, I never really wanted that privilege anyway. :eyebrows:

[Box of frogs]

I got a bread machine hand me down from my daughter. I just use it to make the dough, then put the dough in a standard bread pan and bake in the oven. Amazing that you buy store bought bread that will last weeks, real bread, no chemicals, goes bad fairly quick. The crap we've been putting in our bodies.

Hamburger and hot dog buns will sit on a counter for over three weeks and never grow mold !
What does that say about what goes into it.

[Inor]

I was banned from using the washer and dryer once, but then, I never really wanted that privilege anyway. :eyebrows:

I did that one too. (I have never asked for those privileges to be restored).

But I did learn a valuable lesson... Never use dish soap in the washer - VERY bad things happen!

[Slippy]

I have always wanted to learn to make bread. When the 'rona hit 4 years ago, I (along with everybody else on the planet) decided to finally give it a shot and make honey wheat bread. The bread came out pretty good as I recall, but there was a side-effect that I had not planned on. I made kind of a mess and Mrs Inor banished me from her kitchen. Well okay, it was maybe a little more than "a mess"; I turned the whole kitchen into a complete disaster area.

Regardless, my "kitchen privileges" have been sorely curtailed the last 4 years. I was allowed to continue to make toast and cut cheese and sausage and cook frozen pizzas. She also allows me to make homemade sausage, but I have to be under her close supervision.

So, I was more than a little surprised when I opened one of my Christmas presents from her this year and found that she gave me a bread machine!

34429

This baby is pretty sweet! All you have to do is put all the stuff for the bread into a bucket, put the bucket in the machine, press a few buttons and "boom"! Three hours later a bread comes out!

34430

I just made a plain old white bread today, but it was pretty dang good! Next up, I'm going to figure out what chemicals I need and try making Wonder Bread at home!

But more importantly, I'm taking this whole development in total as more significant than just being able to make bread. I'm taking this to mean that my kitchen privileges have been restored and I plan to act accordingly! WOO HOO!!!

Mrs Slippy is jealous!

Question; Does the bread machine figure out the time to "proof" the dough?

[Inor]

Mrs Slippy is jealous!

Question; Does the bread machine figure out the time to "proof" the dough?

It figures out everything! That's what makes it so dang awesome! You literally, just put the stuff in the bucket (although you do have to put the stuff into the bucket in a particular order), press some buttons to tell it what kind of bread you are making and how brown you want it, and it spits out a bread a couple hours later!

The only other thing we noticed... when it is mixing the bread, it sounds like a barking seal. That wouldn't be so bad but it mixes for about a half hour!

[Slippy]

Mrs Slippy's tip;

Add Sunflower Lecithin for a light, soft & smooth texture.

Since I've gone carnivore, I'll only take a small bite of whatever batch she's baking. It usually tastes pretty good.

https://www.breadbeckers.com

[Sparkyprep]

I have been experimenting with home-made bread, but I don't have a "bread machine". I'm just using the old-fashion method. What I need is a good recipe for a good, chewy, crusty Italian bread.

[Sasquatch]

My Mom and Grandmother made bread in old coffee cans. I say it's witchcraft but apparently it can be done by mortals too.

[1skrewsloose]

Hamburger and hot dog buns will sit on a counter for over three weeks and never grow mold !
What does that say about what goes into it.

Why does bread get moldy, but breads crumbs never go bad?

[1skrewsloose]

Why does bread get moldy, but breads crumbs never go bad?

No reply necessary, its just a stupid question.

How did that happen? Thought I was going to edit, ended up quoting myself.

Once heard someone say, it helps if you pay attention to what you're doing. :)

[Chiefster23]

If you want banned from kitchen duty, as you said, make a giant mess and leave a sink full of dirty dishes. If you want out of laundry duty, wash the wifes ‘delicates’ in hot water then thrown em in the dryer for an hour or two. Both methods are 100% guaranteed to work.

[Chiefster23]

Also, bread machines are wonderful. But they are not idiot proof. Ask me how I know this.

[1skrewsloose]

We should all know having worked anywhere, soon as you do a good job at some task, whenever its needed to be done again, they call on you.

Moral of the story...be good for nothing.

[MountainGirl]

Why does bread get moldy, but breads crumbs never go bad?

Mold requires moisture. Bread still has some; crumbs are dry. You're welcome. :)

[MountainGirl]

I have always wanted to learn to make bread. When the 'rona hit 4 years ago, I (along with everybody else on the planet) decided to finally give it a shot and make honey wheat bread. The bread came out pretty good as I recall, but there was a side-effect that I had not planned on. I made kind of a mess and Mrs Inor banished me from her kitchen. Well okay, it was maybe a little more than "a mess"; I turned the whole kitchen into a complete disaster area.

Regardless, my "kitchen privileges" have been sorely curtailed the last 4 years. I was allowed to continue to make toast and cut cheese and sausage and cook frozen pizzas. She also allows me to make homemade sausage, but I have to be under her close supervision.

So, I was more than a little surprised when I opened one of my Christmas presents from her this year and found that she gave me a bread machine!

34429

This baby is pretty sweet! All you have to do is put all the stuff for the bread into a bucket, put the bucket in the machine, press a few buttons and "boom"! Three hours later a bread comes out!

34430

I just made a plain old white bread today, but it was pretty dang good! Next up, I'm going to figure out what chemicals I need and try making Wonder Bread at home!

But more importantly, I'm taking this whole development in total as more significant than just being able to make bread. I'm taking this to mean that my kitchen privileges have been restored and I plan to act accordingly! WOO HOO!!!

Congrats on getting your kitchen privileges back!
I very much remember your story from 4 years ago LOLOL
I used a bread machine years ago, enjoyed it muchly.
PO's been wanting to get me one, my increasing laziness is about ready to let him.
I couldn't tell from the pic - what brand is yours?

[Inor]

Congrats on getting your kitchen privileges back!
I very much remember your story from 4 years ago LOLOL
I used a bread machine years ago, enjoyed it muchly.
PO's been wanting to get me one, my increasing laziness is about ready to let him.
I couldn't tell from the pic - what brand is yours?

KBS brand. That doesn't mean anything to me, but it works pretty well.

[TJC44]

If you want banned from kitchen duty, as you said, make a giant mess and leave a sink full of dirty dishes. If you want out of laundry duty, wash the wifes ‘delicates’ in hot water then thrown em in the dryer for an hour or two. Both methods are 100% guaranteed to work.

That doesn't work for me. Sure, I could ban myself from the kitchen, but the dirty dishes would still be there untill I wash them. And the mess. And I wouldn't have anything to eat.
:hungry::chef:

[Deebo]

I remember the slicer story too.
Miss you Inor, I will text you right now.

[Inor]

Mrs Inor snagged a GREAT website to tell us how to use the bread machine!

https://breaddad.com/

We tried the simple French Bread one today. It was extremely easy and DAMN good!

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(You can tell it's real French Bread because of the white flags). We had a big lunch today so neither of us was very hungry tonight. I just cut a couple slices of this and dipped it in olive oil with some black pepper and salt. I am VERY satisfied!

[Inor]

Today we made Italian breads!

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You can tell they are real Italian breads because they have a stiletto stuck in 'em! Once you cut them open, you can see the little green bits of Italian weeds too, but those do not show up much in the photos. I think the Italian weeds make them healthful too!

I'm likin' this whole bread thang!

[MountainGirl]

Ahhh okay. Y'all are using the bread machine to make the dough - and then baking those loaves in the oven. Good idea! :thumb:

[Slippy]

Today we made Italian breads!

34561

You can tell they are real Italian breads because they have a stiletto stuck in 'em! Once you cut them open, you can see the little green bits of Italian weeds too, but those do not show up much in the photos. I think the Italian weeds make them healthful too!

I'm likin' this whole bread thang!

NICE!

I bet if you threw those Eye-talian loaves down the driveway they would go WOP, WOP, WOP...

[Inor]

Mrs Inor started some sourdough things today so we will soon be able to make sourdough breads. One is an Italian sourdough, one is a fag sourdough (San Francisco) and the third is a Jooooo sourdough. I'm not sure what we do with them yet but Mrs Inor seems to know.

She put them in the mason jars today with water and flour. She said we have to "feed" them for a while before we can use them. They were supposed to start "growing"? After a couple hours, it didn't look like they were doing anything so I started cheering them on: "2-4-6-8 Hurry up and flatulate!" That seemed to get 'em going because a few hours later they all had bubbles. Next steps?

34672

[Slippy]

Mrs Inor started some sourdough things today so we will soon be able to make sourdough breads. One is an Italian sourdough, one is a fag sourdough (San Francisco) and the third is a Jooooo sourdough. I'm not sure what we do with them yet but Mrs Inor seems to know.

She put them in the mason jars today with water and flour. She said we have to "feed" them for a while before we can use them. They were supposed to start "growing"? After a couple hours, it didn't look like they were doing anything so I started cheering them on: "2-4-6-8 Hurry up and flatulate!" That seemed to get 'em going because a few hours later they all had bubbles. Next steps?

34672

For a number of years, Mrs Slippy kept some sourdough "starter'. She was pretty involved in these jars of sourdough starter.

If memory serves, she would take a bit of her "starter" and give it to other people. It all seemed a bit strange to me. Every so often she'd bake some sourdough bread. I'm not a big bread eater, so it didn't bother me.

I can't say I fully understood any of it...

[Inor]

Well, it's been almost 2 months since we have bought a bread. We have tried probably close to a dozen different formulas to varying degrees of success. So these are some of the things we have learned in no particular order:

1 - The exact measurements of the stuff for making them does not seem to matter much as long as you keep the ratios between "dry" things and "wet" things roughly the same. The magic ratio seems to be about 4 parts dry things to 1 part wet things. For example, the French and Italian breads we made first are just about 3 1/2 cups flour, 1 cup water, some salt and some yeast. (I did put some Italian weeds and olive oil in the Italian one just for flavor). The kind of flour will change the taste but does not seem to affect the "bready-ness" of it.

2 - I tried chopping up some raw onion and raw garlic to put in one but that did not work at all. I think it killed all the yeast. It tasted good but had the consistency of an inner-tube. The next one, I fried the garlic and put that in it and that worked GREAT.

3 - Using water for the wet part makes the bread crusty on the outside and light and fluffy on the inside. But, it also does not last more than a couple days. Even the second day, it was getting pretty dry. But Mrs Inor used it for French Toast on the 3rd day and that was freakin awesome! Beyond 3 days, it is basically not good for anything beyond feeding it to donkeys and chickens.

4 - Using whole milk for the wet part makes the bread a lot "heavier". It does not rise up as nearly as much as it did with just water. But it also lasts longer without getting dry. It also really fills you up. When the SHTF, this will definitely be the main way we will make the bread.

5 - Using buttermilk for the wet part makes the crust a lot softer and makes it fluffier. Buttermilks bread seems to last about as long as the milk-only bread but it does not fill you up nearly as much.

6 - Using a 50/50 mixture of whole milk and sour cream for the wet part is da bomb! It makes bread that is really soft. The crust is not crunchy at all and it lasts for at least 5 days. (We ate the whole loaf in 5 days and it was as good on the last day as it was on the first). This is probably what we will be using for hamburgers and hot dogs going forward as well. We both liked this one a lot.

7 - "All purpose" flour should be renamed "No purpose" flour. It does not work for anything. Bread flour is the way to go. Other flours can be used for different flavors but then you just reduce the amount of bread flour by the amount of rye/whole wheat/pumpernickel flour. So if you normally use 3 1/2 cups of bread flour, but decide to use 1 cup of whole wheat, just reduce the amount bread flour by 1 cup.

8 - Using sour dough with just bread flour does not seem to do much. It does still make the bread rise but you really cannot taste the sour dough. The sour dough does change the flavor with whole wheat and rye flour. (We have not tried it yet with pumpernickel).

9 - Putting honey or brown sugar in it, just for flavor, does make it good. But also keep a close eye on it when it rises! It does seem to rise quickly and rise a LOT! I think if you left it too long, it would soon gain consciousness and try to take over the world.

So those are the main notes that we have made through our experimentation. As we discover new things in this effort, I will keep y'all updated.