★ Closed ★ GIVING AWAY 100 rounds CCI 22lr mini-mag *FrEe*

[RWalls]

Free box of CCI Mini-mag 100 rounds, 40 grain.

Here are the rules:

1) Tell a funny joke here.

2) Your post number is your entry number. (see how I am number 1?)

3) A winning number will be drawn on March 25th! I will use a random number generator app on my iPhone.

4) Open to any resident of FL, GA, AL, NC, SC and TN.
And yes, I have a huge stockpile of 22lr ammo.

276

[Peacekeeper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oiPjMGf7FM

[1moretoy]

An older couple had just learned how to send texts.
The wife being a romantic decided to send her husband a text while out having coffee with a friend.
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams"
"If you are laughing, send me your smile"
"If you are eating, send me a bite"
"If you are drinking, send me a sip"
"If you are crying, send me a tear"
"I love you"

The husband texted back:
"I'm on the toilet...please advise"

[BigDZ]

Whats the same about women and tornadoes?



They both moan when there coming and take everything when there leaving!

[DrGiggles]

A guy out on the edge of town up in Alaska goes out to his generator shed and notices that it's leaking oil. He calls into town to see when a mechanic can come out to take a look at it. The shop tells him it will be at least 5-6 hours. The leak isn't too bad so he figures that's okay, heads back to the house. He waits around a while, then decides to fix himself some lunch.

The mechanic gets done with his call sooner than he figured he would, so he heads out to check out the generator. He pulls up to the generator shed, knows where the generator is located, so he checks it out. His suspicions are confirmed, so he heads up to the house to reveal the news.

Mechanic knocks on the door. The guy answers.

Mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal."

Guy wipes his face, says "Nah, that's just mayonnaise."

[ready2play]

What do you call a pig that does karate?


Highlight below for answer

a pork chop!

[West]

Obama to Putin: You must pull all your troops.....
Putin: Knock Knock.
Obama: (sigh) Who's there??
Putin: Crimea.
Obama: Crimea who?
Putin: Crimea river.
283

[fmax]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

[etkd]

http://youtu.be/VIvndWcMuAM

[ptarnuzzer]

A state Trooper chased a guy for over 10 miles with speeds exceeding 100 miles per hour at times. When the trooper finally pulled the car over, the Trooper asked why he didn't stop, the driver replayed, several years ago my wife ran off with a State Trooper, I thought you were returning her!

[Necrosis]

There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says

...

‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’

[tonytwoguns]

Whats green and red and goes 100mph in a circle..,..,,,
A frog in a blender

[francoisarocker]

A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar in London, England by mistake.

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given you are blind, to tell you you're in a girls biker bar and you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously "Mister", do you still wanna tell that joke? "

The blind man thinks for a minute, sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, it's a good joke but not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[eath0s]

Wanna here a good joke.... Trying to buy .22 ammo! I hope I win it! HAHAHAHA

[madtana]

What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?

She goes home.

[Peacekeeper]

What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?

She goes home.

I thought it was her bed by 10.

[Montgomery]

Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.

Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."

"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.

"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"

[bearpugh]

how many alabama freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? trick question. thats a sophomore class.

[BugMan]

It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

[RealtreeMat]

Top 10 reasons to get a Gun over getting a Woman


#10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22.
#9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.
#8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN, AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
#7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
#6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.
#5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.
#4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.
#3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
#2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.
And, the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman...
#1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN !!!

[Georgiacornholesupply]

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

[Dave]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch?
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in Ft Worth so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that
I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
the telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word 'comfortable'".

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull

[Ilockert78]

Boudreaux & Marie were having their first fight, and it was a big one. After a while, Boudreaux said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." Marie replied, "I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all dem people at the wedding."

[CodyP]

317

[LoneWolf]

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp.
“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.
“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.
“That little ****, O’Conner,” says Sean, “He couldn’t do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand.”
“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it.”
“Well,” says Sean, “you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?”
“That I did,” said Paddy. “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

[jasonsch]

My Mexican friend wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.

Scientists say the average size of the male ***** has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting....

"4) Open to any resident of FL, GA, AL, NC, SC and TN."
I guess I'm not eligible, being from SOUTH Dakota, but posted a couple of jokes anyway!! :)

[etkd]

My Mexican friend wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.

Scientists say the average size of the male ***** has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting....

"4) Open to any resident of FL, GA, AL, NC, SC and TN."
I guess I'm not eligible, being from SOUTH Dakota, but posted a couple of jokes anyway!! :)

thats ok jason. if you win you can just have them sent to my house

[RWalls]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch?
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in Ft Worth so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that
I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
the telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word 'comfortable'".

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull


Congrats Winner!
340

[ptarnuzzer]

Congrats Dave! Great joke too!

[1moretoy]

Woohoo...way to go Dave.