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Thread: 28 days later....

  1. #21
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    Holy shit, I cant write nor elaborate like you, but last night, my wifes damn cat was sitting in my lap and decided to "reach up and paw my lip", well the little MFer had a claw extended and snagged my lip.
    No where near as funny as the Steve the ass bandit pillow biter.
    You will never be forgotten. RIP Corporal Bradley Coy (USMC)

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  3. #22
    Just this guy Inor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hawgrider View Post
    3 choices -

    Courage- For living next to the rump ranger

    Demented- For talking about a gay guy and pussy at the same time.

    Gambits pool of shame!- For talking about assless chaps, pussy and queers in the same sentence.


    You pick...
    Demented. Anybody that can weave a cat and assless chaps into 5 paragraphs, definitely is demented!
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  5. #23
    ədˈminəˌstrātər hawgrider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inor View Post
    Demented. Anybody that can weave a cat and assless chaps into 5 paragraphs, definitely is demented!
    He went for the Gambit so this will be a record 2 medals one post so I'll fetch him the demented too.
    "The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath." W. C. Fields

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  7. #24
    Just this guy Inor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hawgrider View Post
    He went for the Gambit so this will be a record 2 medals one post so I'll fetch him the demented too.
    That post deserves it! Thanks pal. (I cannot remember how to do them, but I could probably figure it out if I had not already had 3 Elysians...)
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  9. #25
    Verbal Diarrhea OSFG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inor View Post
    Demented. Anybody that can weave a cat and assless chaps into 5 paragraphs, definitely is demented!
    Inor.... If I was making this shit up it would be even more impressive. The fact that most of this is real life experience, as seen through a haze of Sleeping pills, a Piss poor outlook on life and gauze.... Its just down right frustrating at times. Like tonight at the game...I'm sitting there, minding my own business, next thing I know There's a shouting match between our bleachers and the other team....At this point, I can't even understand whats being said, but I start laughing about it all.

    A cat on the other side says..."and I'll kick your man's ass if he thinks it so damn funny..."
    Hell, I ain't even there with anyone....I'm actually waiting for the next game to start when my kid plays.... Shit just happens to me...I don't look for trouble...cause apparently it has me on its damn milk cartons...for all those troubled folks and their damn milk drinking cats to look at and try to find me....

    Its like I'm some kind of religion they just keep rediscovering. Fact is...My wife was on the other side....we drove separately (cause thats the way we do all important things, like drive, work, and sex). I'm pretty sure she pointed me out to the big guy yelling at me.

    I still think I recognized that voice saying, "I wouldn't take that shit if I was a man!"


    I get home, The damn cat is sleeping...I assume she's getting some rest before the damn D-day attack on my legs at Dawn. I'm gonna start fugn with it though and put velcro underneath the bed, and when its little nappy head ass gets caught up in the hook and pile concertina contraption, I'm gonna flanks its ass with my wife's spritzer bottle and soak that little kitty cat good. I'll show it to fuq with a old SF Guy!!!!

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  11. #26
    Just this guy Inor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OSFG View Post
    Inor.... If I was making this shit up it would be even more impressive. The fact that most of this is real life experience, as seen through a haze of Sleeping pills, a Piss poor outlook on life and gauze.... Its just down right frustrating at times. Like tonight at the game...I'm sitting there, minding my own business, next thing I know There's a shouting match between our bleachers and the other team....At this point, I can't even understand whats being said, but I start laughing about it all.

    A cat on the other side says..."and I'll kick your man's ass if he thinks it so damn funny..."
    Hell, I ain't even there with anyone....I'm actually waiting for the next game to start when my kid plays.... Shit just happens to me...I don't look for trouble...cause apparently it has me on its damn milk cartons...for all those troubled folks and their damn milk drinking cats to look at and try to find me....

    Its like I'm some kind of religion they just keep rediscovering. Fact is...My wife was on the other side....we drove separately (cause thats the way we do all important things, like drive, work, and sex). I'm pretty sure she pointed me out to the big guy yelling at me.

    I still think I recognized that voice saying, "I wouldn't take that shit if I was a man!"
    I don't, for a heartbeat, think you are making shit up. For the last 5+ years, you have been flying around, doing the same stuff I have been doing for over 20 years. Crazy shit happens when you travel, even at home when you get the rare opportunity to be home. Yep, folks think I am full of it when I mention that I have been through 3 hotel fires, an earthquake and a hurricane - and those were all within about a 5 year span of time. And that does not include stumbling across the kids in north Florida selling "cow parts" at a stand by the side of the road, the 15 freakin' tornados in north Dallas IN ONE AFTERNOON, or the hooker going door to door in a cheap hotel that I was staying at in Albany, NY on my first wedding anniversary WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MY WIFE ON THE PHONE!

    Crazy shit happens when you are on the road. And when you travel as much as you and I do, even going home is still being on the road. But think of the stories we have...
    Admin for the most politically correct site on the web. Welcome to the OTP!

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  13. #27
    Verbal Diarrhea OSFG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inor View Post
    I don't, for a heartbeat, think you are making shit up. For the last 5+ years, you have been flying around, doing the same stuff I have been doing for over 20 years. Crazy shit happens when you travel, even at home when you get the rare opportunity to be home. Yep, folks think I am full of it when I mention that I have been through 3 hotel fires, an earthquake and a hurricane - and those were all within about a 5 year span of time. And that does not include stumbling across the kids in north Florida selling "cow parts" at a stand by the side of the road, the 15 freakin' tornados in north Dallas IN ONE AFTERNOON, or the hooker going door to door in a cheap hotel that I was staying at in Albany, NY on my first wedding anniversary WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MY WIFE ON THE PHONE!

    Crazy shit happens when you are on the road. And when you travel as much as you and I do, even going home is still being on the road. But think of the stories we have...
    Well thats why I guess I got my handy dandy Anti PTSD Psychic-ci-cii cat to help me relive those memories. ANd as much as I talk about Cats,,,I'm a dog person. Damn cats are too much like women folk for me to deal with. $240 bucks to get her Spayed???? Hell I'll just lock her in a box once a month and ignore her until she simmers down. Worked f or my wife,,, why not her cat?

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  15. #28
    Little Miss Chatterbox Innkeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inor View Post
    I don't, for a heartbeat, think you are making shit up. For the last 5+ years, you have been flying around, doing the same stuff I have been doing for over 20 years. Crazy shit happens when you travel, even at home when you get the rare opportunity to be home. Yep, folks think I am full of it when I mention that I have been through 3 hotel fires, an earthquake and a hurricane - and those were all within about a 5 year span of time. And that does not include stumbling across the kids in north Florida selling "cow parts" at a stand by the side of the road, the 15 freakin' tornados in north Dallas IN ONE AFTERNOON, or the hooker going door to door in a cheap hotel that I was staying at in Albany, NY on my first wedding anniversary WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MY WIFE ON THE PHONE!

    Crazy shit happens when you are on the road. And when you travel as much as you and I do, even going home is still being on the road. But think of the stories we have...
    That is why after I retired from the army I gave up any long distance travel, I am willing to work for a little less because I have seen enough shit and have enough stories the kids here donít believe happened.


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    "Firearms are second only to the constitution in importance; they are the peoples' liberty's teeth"
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